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First BDSM Meetup (Serious Adult Version)

So I went to my first bdsm meet up. The prospect was simple:

If you like bdsm and want to talk to others, come to this place. A few obvious rules are stated (dress normally, don’t hit on everything that moves, be nice) -

I expected a bunch of “old” people (40+) and… found that. Let me go into detail;

The typical “Old man with money, younger wife that struggles with the fact that she is old and now looks like her skin is leather from all the things she tries to hide her age with”

The “40- something, husband and totally out of place looking guy” that never talks about bdsm, but a lot about politics and economics

The “35+ and desperate” guy that … basically acts like quagmire from Family Guy - Giggdy - shamelessly bothering anything that looks like a sub.

The “Passive Sub” - that simply never says anything, barley keeping herself from clinging to her husband.

The fat girl(s) - Lets be honest, they do tend to be into bdsm, god bless em. Quite nice to chat with actually~

The Painslut - the youngest person after me, 27 years old - takes great joy from the older people basically fighting over her. Very open, wanted me to play with her after a disturbingly short amount of time.

The male Sub - Talks a lot, loved by everyone, caters to any and every opinion - actually quite nice.

The King & Queen “We’ve been here for 48 years, let us state that regularly and clearly”

The Old Guard “We are old. Therefore we know bdsm well. When you ask for tips and stories, we change topic though - very afraid of losing there position of “knows the most” and will quite rudely interrupt anyone else giving tips with pointless statements/jokes.

The young Dom (like me!) - Looks like a designer/hipster/programmer - they obviously read some books, they clearly enjoy hurting and playing people and answer your questions willingly - as long as you never doubt them.

Really just smalltalk most of the night, getting used to each other, naturally finding some comfort before the more kinky topics start up late at night - sadly they also are quite drunk at this time and the desperate fellas lose all limits, leading to a lot of awkward moment of subs trying to escape them.

Overall the preference was really limited to “receiving and inflicting pain”, with a foot-fetish and electro play as the only escapees i found. 

The crew was mostly men, but the ratio wasn’t to bad (2.5 guys to 1 female) - but I wouldn’t recommend there if you want to find the partner for your life. You can certainly get laid, thou~

The community feeling is rather thick and you have to work your way in during the small talk, trying to ignore the inside jokes and reference to events you can’t know.

What did I learn?

- BDSM communities can be pretty much like a swinger club.

- If you are young, people don’t think you can do “the bdsm” - but they are nice about it

- Some clichés are true.

- Talk to male subs, they are quite pleasant and easy to approach.

- Subs may not talk a lot, but they are still watching you.

- They all shared a lot of personal, intimate things in play partys and so on - you are not part of this, but you can be. Respect that you have to earn that trust first.

- It’s actually pretty chill.

- Talking Dom to Dom can be educating, a nice circle jerk off “oh yeah [Dat feel]”

- Trying to explain your kinks and why you like them is HARD!

- Showing up as single-male isn’t that horrible, as long as you behave.

As you see, there was no direct advise - and overall any definite statements are rare, because even more then in Internet communities, people avoid actually running the risk of saying something that someone else may disagree with - after all you see these people in person, you don’t want them to know about your daddy-daughter fetish - even in the kink friendly group.

Even in the “outsider” group of BDSM, there are outsiders.




There have been some insightful comments on this post, read them here:
http://days.maybemaimed.com/post/33239740861/clearly-inspired-by-my-bdsm-workshop-bingo-a

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